Jose Cuervo Especial Gold Tequila

I knew this moment would eventually arrive. While it's not my initial encounter with Cuervo Gold, I never anticipated seriously evaluating it for an objective review. Cuervo Gold is one of the rare spirits I not only refuse to consume anymore but also proudly look down on individuals who lack the self-respect to explore beyond it. Even I was unaware of what a tequila mixto was until about five years ago, but after learning and discussing it, I was genuinely astounded by how many people are unaware of its meaning and how many are misled into disliking tequila forever with the common phrase, "ugh, I can't drink tequila, it gives me hangovers and makes me puke lol," completely oblivious that what they've been exposed to is simply reposado-flavored sugar... but I'm getting off track. It is truly the tequila for the uninformed, yet I am compelled to rate what I know is essentially the Keystone Light of agave spirits. The color is not unpleasant if you're trying to convince yourself it spent a respectable amount of time in a barrel, appearing somewhere between pale straw and pale gold. The nose presents a surprisingly strong ethanol burn, accompanied by the expected classic agave herbal notes, including black peppercorns and green bell peppers. However, there's no further development, and the pepper notes begin to irritate the nostrils, diminishing its appeal. Repeated sniffing does reveal a subtle caramel sugar cookie sweetness, but it's insufficient to offset the preceding notes. The body is very light, watery, and almost refreshing in an undesirable way, as if an ice cube had melted into it. The flavor begins with a hint of the spicy pepper from the nose, but after a while, I realize the spice is merely the burn from neutral ethanol, much like vodka. The finish brings back the black pepper, making one wish for more vegetal agave notes, but none materialize. It's peculiar how this spirit manages to be as watery as a non-alcoholic beverage yet intensely spiced. It's difficult to imagine what an 80-proof version of a tequila High Noon (arguably the finest "tequila" seltzers) would taste like, especially since they are only offered in flavored varieties and cannot be directly compared here, but I still suspect this is the foundation for it, minus the sparkling water and artificial flavoring. Ultimately, is it worth it in any capacity? No, not at all, but not because it's particularly offensive. It is exceptionally inexpensive, but then again, most low-end 100% agave tequilas are cheap, and as someone who primarily collects American whiskeys, I find it hard to overspend even on premium and fine tequilas. Nevertheless, if you're seeking an inexpensive mixer, opt for a 100% agave product; the specific brand hardly matters at that point. By avoiding what is essentially multiple hard seltzers with every few ounces of this, you'll spare yourself the headache and severe dehydration, and you won't miss any of the flavors here regardless of where you choose to upgrade to.

This is not as terrible as described. It's quite sweet with many flavors, similar to T1 reposado. Upfront, it has a strong confectioner's sugar taste with some citrus and vegetal notes. The flavor is rich and somewhat deep, but not very captivating. Spice and herbs are present, but the flavors don't blend well. Mint and sage are noticeable but not overpowering. I'd prefer T1 reposado for its cleaner and more diverse flavor, but Cuervo Gold isn't that bad. It's not as bad as people claim. There's an icing sugar quality. It has mint and tomato notes mixed with toasted pineapple and some mild white pepper. It's almost drinkable, though not a great tequila. It's definitely on the sweet side, very much so. This tastes significantly better than 1800. May whoever has to drink 1800 be helped. There's some intriguing funk and vegetal notes alongside the sweetness. It's a little rough, but it reminds me of rhum agricole in a way that isn't entirely unpleasant. Perhaps many have had negative experiences due to excessive Cuervo consumption at parties, as it's not as bad as I anticipated, but taste preferences vary.

This stuff is absolutely vile, smelling of burnt agave, alcohol, and chemical waste, with only a faint trace of leather if you search for it. The aroma suggests it's undrinkable. It's even worse in the mouth, tasting like a chemical mess and refuse swirling on the tongue with the barest hint of agave. I actually gagged and recoiled initially, and subsequent sips made me dread tasting it. The finish is a bit better, with artificial caramel clearly added, which helps endure the incredibly bitter end. A surprising note of white pepper also distracts from the intense burn it leaves. This drink gave me a headache after a single glass. Avoid this at all costs; it's undrinkable and tastes like poison.

Over the last six months of drinking whisky, I've learned that inexpensive spirits are generally worth their low price. However, at work, we're having a sale on 100ml bottles, two for $4, so I purchased one each of the silver and the Gold to get some idea of what tequila might be like. Without prior tequila experience, it's hard to say, but I'd place this stuff on a similar level in tequila as Jim Beam is in bourbon. The aroma is distinctly jalapeño peppers - nothing else. The taste starts with a very subtle honey note, followed by a sharp alcohol bite, and concludes with a candy-like sweetness. The finish is on the shorter side of medium, offering notes of honey, candy, and a faint lingering oak. This isn't something I'll keep in stock, but it does suggest that tequila is worth exploring.

An aged bottle arrived from my parents' collection. It had likely been stored in a cabinet for 10 years, nearly full. Remarkable, this is quite unpleasant. Perhaps the 'remarkable' indicates my surprise. Not truly. I recognized it upon tasting it neat from a rinsed shot glass. It lives up to its reputation. I will use the remainder to soak fresh pineapples. Perhaps it will be improved in a pineapple piña colada? Anything to mask the flavor would be an improvement. It possesses cheap ethanol, a touch of sweetness, and a vegetal quality. I would not recommend sipping this neat. It essentially tastes like a cheap vodka with a tequila flavoring.

It has notes of pepper, vanilla, and ethanol, with practically no agave flavor detectable to my palate. In my opinion, added ingredients and other non-agave flavors create a cloying sensation on the palate. Even consuming this in moderation leads to hangovers and sometimes feeling unwell. It's not the absolute worst thing I've ever tasted, but it's not good tequila. For less than $5 more, you can get options like Lunazul, El Jimador, Camarena, or even Jose Cuervo's Tradicional line, which, while not exceptional tequilas, are significantly better than this. I truly believe this particular tequila is the reason many people conclude they dislike tequila.