Green Tree Distillery "Green Fairy" Absinthe

Appearance: Vivid transparent turquoise. As artificial as costume jewelry. Aroma: Grassy spearmint, eau-de-Cologne. Flavor and Texture: Served neat, there's an artificial mint taste, a hint of fennel, and grain alcohol with a bitter-sweet industrial character. When diluted, it's similar but more aggressive, as if the high alcohol content was suppressing all the unpleasantness, which is now released. This tastes nothing – I repeat NOTHING – like authentic absinthe. Horrible. Vile. Repugnant. An insult to all gods. This mixture is about as far removed from genuine absinthe as it's possible to be. It's practically undrinkable and offers absolutely no enjoyment to the person consuming it. It resembles a spearmint liqueur made from the cheapest synthetic components. I couldn't detect any wormwood, which should be the key ingredient. Nor was there any hint of green anise, fennel, hyssop, gentian, lemon balm, star anise, or any of the potential herbal elements expected in real absinthe. This is clearly not a distilled botanical product, and I doubt it was even blended from essential oils. I'm convinced it's merely numbered synthetic additives dissolved in ethanol – the most pathetic kind of flavored vodka imaginable by the most deranged mind. Most of all, it reminded me of Listerine – the look, the smell, and the taste. The only difference is that Listerine is infinitely more pleasant to drink. Most shockingly, it doesn't louche! What's the purpose of an absinthe that doesn't louche? All that happens with ice-cold water is... nothing. It looks exactly the same. This is typical of all the gross, cheap Eastern European so-called "absinthe" products and is the precise reason why the insane "ritual" of setting a spirit-soaked sugar cube ablaze was invented. It was the only thing one could do with this swill – burn it. Unfortunately, this is the most commonly found "absinthe" in Australia (though fortunately, you can find much better brands if you search). It's sold under many names, including “Green Tree”, "Green Fairy” (the most common label), and even just “Absinthe,” and at strengths ranging from 40-70% alcohol by volume. Tasted from a 40ml sample. I would not purchase a full bottle of this, even if compensated. In fact, I would happily support a movement to have it completely prohibited from sale. For just $30 more, you can find Pernod Absinthe in most reputable liquor stores, and, as basic as it is, it establishes the standard for the spirit and exists in a different realm compared to this foul, toxic concoction. “Disgustingly Bad and Almost Literally Undrinkable”: 10/100 (0.00 stars)