EFFEN Vodka

Primarily ethanol on the nose, but I believe vodka should be excused for this. It enters smoothly with vanilla, marshmallow, and cream, but is immediately followed by an alcoholic burn. A sharper note emerges within the heat and continues into the finish. I'd begun to dismiss judging spirits as subtle as vodka, but it's possible if following my personal 'sake rule,' which serves as a reasonable approximation for sake grades: Quality is proportional to flavor times smoothness divided by price. While simplistic and general, I think this aligns with the intended precision for vodka. By this metric, Effen is acceptable for its vanilla leaning, but superior options exist. Notes: Someone astute might point out that my quality formula has a singularity if a vodka is given to me for free (price=0). This is not an error. Flask cleaner is invaluable:) To a second approximation: Quality is proportional to (flavor times smoothness) divided by price plus (how much the ethanol smell reminds me of Bacardi Silver) divided by price squared. (That term is quite significant for this vodka...)

My go-to vodka. It's smooth and mild, with a rounder mouthfeel compared to many vodkas in a similar price range. Almost creamy.

Unremarkable, smooth like Tito's vodka with a comparable taste; not bad, though.

It's decent, but it makes a surprisingly good martini.